Victory and Defeat

So I haven’t had a 72 hour EEG because the company my neurologist works with only does them on Fridays-Sundays, and because I work weekends, that’s obviously not an option for me. My faith in EEG’s is null anyhow. I’ve done weeklong studies at Yale, been told that the seizures, and seizure “like” activity were all due to stress, that I didn’t even have a medical condition aside from PTSD, and that ultimately my issue was psychological, not physical. They were wrong on several of those assumptions, but the seizure situation has remained perplexing.

From around 21 until 28 or so, I was relatively seizure free. There was one incident when I wad dehydrated, but it didn’t stand out as a recurrence of my old seizure patterns. The doctors had told me in the ER that maybe I was just more susceptible than others, and that normal EEG readings while I felt normal weren’t all that uncommon. After I stopped drinking, and began taking immune suppressing drugs, the seizures became a shadow n the back of my mind…or so I thought.

During this time I had what I called “my little episodes.” They presented like strokes, and sometimes scared the crap out of me. I would get numbness and tingling on my right side, followed by confusion with speech. I would see an orange, but maybe only be able to say apple if I could say anything at all. In my mind I knew what the things around me were, but the connection between my brain and my mouth seemed to become severed. After being diagnosed with Behcet’s, I had moved to NY, then back to CA, where I confronted my neurologist with the question: could I be having transient ischemic attacks (TIA’s), also known as mini-strokes?

He felt this wasn’t likely because my MRI’s had been normal, as had tests for blood clotting. However, he did say that partial seizures were likely the culprit, especially once he saw the video. I protested, of course, because I never lost consciousness, I was convinced that seizures weren’t the answer. Turns out I was wrong, or so the doctor said at that point in time. One normal EEG later, he was calling them seizure like episodes, and I was beginning to feel insane again.

After this last string of seizures, courtesy of some asshole who felt like drugging me, he said he was obligated to report me to the DMV. Crushed is an understatement. I take my meds. I’m compliant. Now I’m being punished because I went status epileptic after being drugged? Thanks a lot universe.

Still not sure what it means. I have to see what the paperwork says when I get it from the DMV. I can’t afford to uber or Lyft all over town, but I also can’t afford to have my license suspended either.

Just another day…

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Victory and Defeat

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